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How to Overcome the Fear of Being Vulnerable

Last Updated October 14th, 2018

How can you learn to overcome the fear of being vulnerable? The best way to overcome the fear of being vulnerable is to do what you fear, walking by faith.

Having suffered abuse at the hands of parents, a boyfriend, husband or stranger leads to being fearful and distrusting. The last thing you want to do is be vulnerable.

Vulnerability to an abuse survivor means you are open and trusting of others. It leaves you susceptible to a possible attack of abuse, criticism and personal judgment.

Being vulnerable means you openly share personal thoughts, feelings, struggles, and secrets. It entails you trusting others without worrying about being disappointed again.

The thought of being vulnerable is out of the question for many abuse survivors. The fear of being judged harshly, let down or hurt again is too unbearable. Instead, you retreat into a shell and block the world out.

I get it, I do understand!

 

Break the Cycle – Do What You Fear

Several years ago, I was fearful to answer my estranged abusive husband’s message on that dating website. Apprehensive to write about personal stories of child abuse and domestic violence on a blog. My heart, reserved for being open and vulnerable.

The thought of sharing my darkest secrets with the world never crossed my mind. I thought, “what if someone I know reads this stuff.” What will they think of me? What will they think of the choices I’ve made in life? How will they judge me?

You see, underneath the fear of being vulnerable is another concern. The fear of personal attack and judgment from others. And victims tend to give power and control of themselves over to others out of fear. Fear of personal attack leaves victims vulnerable in unhealthy ways.

To break the cycle of defeat, do what you fear, walking by faith. You don’t have to live in fear of what others will do or think of you. Trust in the Lord and lean not onto your understanding. His perfect love casts out the doubt.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. I John 4:18 KVJ

 

How to Overcome the Fear of Being Vulnerable

I believe the world needs more people to be vulnerable with their hearts. The world needs people to share their stories of pain and anguish. Victims need to connect with others who can help them overcome the fear of being vulnerable.

To overcome being vulnerable, we must lay aside our human tendency to cast personal judgment. We need to love our neighbors as ourselves, flaws and all. This doesn’t mean you have to accept sinful behavior. Rather you should flee from it. God will judge in His righteousness in the end. It’s not our job!

The world needs more compassion and empathy for the sufferings of others. For we are all born unrighteous and made righteous in Him. It is a gift of His saving grace. I pray you will accept it by faith and learn to fear not. For this is the way to overcome the fear of being vulnerable.

Linda M Carleton
Linda M Carleton

Linda suffered childhood abuse and domestic violence as a young adult. In 1991, the grace of God rescued her at a mission in Oakland, California. Linda writes to offer victims of abuse and survivors of violence hope for a better life. She lives in a small town in Upstate, New York. And enjoys studying the Bible, writing, and listening to blues and gospel music.

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